Corporate Crap and Other Dubious Wisdom

Over the years I have worked for many different bosses both in large and small companies and corporations.  Some were good, some bad, and some just plain suck ass useless.  I’ve come to believe that there are several different types that suck.  Here are a few of my infamous ones, maybe you’ll recognize yours.

Mr. Laid Back

This boss will let just about anybody do just about anything.  You want to take off early you say?  Not a problem, Mr. Laid Back will let you off even if other people do have to work twice as hard because you aren’t there.  Ummmm… you want a raise?  Mr. Laid Back will go to the mat for you without question!  Of course since he has a reputation for being soo easy, he’ll most likely come back to you with a lame ass excuse from higher up that he was too lame to get around.

Ms. I. Wanna B.

As her name implies, she wanna be head honcho, top of the rock, chief, boss, kingpin by God and ain’t nobody gonna get in her way.  She is different than Ms. I. Am, because she ain’t.  She wants soo badly to be somebody else that she doesn’t bother learning not only who she is, but how a boss needs to get things done.  You can usually tell her by the flames spewing from her head and mouth because she hasn’t gotten her way yet… nor is she likely to because her boss is planning her imminent demise just as soon as he can find the negatives of last years Xmas party.

Mr. Good Ole Boy

He’s the life of the party both in and out of the office.  He’ll slap you on the back until you wanna stick a spike in his head.  He loves to have these great heart to heart talks because he is soo interested in your life that he just can’t help himself.  Don’t let the ole boy too close though because the next time he has a heart to heart with his boss you may be wondering why people are suddenly asking you how your sick kid Rover is and why Praipism should never be practiced in public.

Mr. Micro Man

This boss has to hire extra people just so he can keep himself busier than anyone else.  Not only does he claim to know all about being a boss because his mamma told him so, but he also knows all about your job (usually never having actually performed it well) as well as every other job.  He thinks that any job worth doing should be done by committee.  So you will have endless three hour meetings to see how many light bulbs can be screwed in by a short gypsy wearing polkadots in an hour before anyone ever even hires a gypsy at the going rate.  Each meeting will contain at least 50% reiteration of all previous meetings because MR Micro Man will want to be sure he wasn’t the only one who missed something.

Ghost Man

Ever wonder just who your boss is because nobody can really say with certainty?  Like… who the hell is running this chicken outfit?  Oh sure, there is a token body there some of the time (when it isn’t golf season, or football season, or basketball season, or they aren’t running the Olympics), but is anybody sure the boss isn’t a figment of the companies warped sense of humor?  Be honest now… when was the last time you actually saw your boss?

Long in The Tooth

No, no… I don’t mean that way.  I mean the kind of boss that just sucks the life’s blood outta every person there.  This boss will forever be playing catch-up.  Every day is a new chance at fucking things up so totally beyond repair that neither you or all the tubes of Super Glue in the world will ever be able to stick them back together again.  To this boss, total chaos is job security because since they fucked it up in the first place, who better to fix it?

There is a lively discussion going on at MBC right now, so I thought I would start your week out with a juicy subject.

As one of those nazty men I guess I should weigh in on this one with my opinion….

People just don’t seem to grow together anymore. They don’t seem to want to expend the effort learning about each other and making the changes in themselves equally to build the strength a lasting relationship needs to succeed. The bottom line is though that it certainly isn’t just men… both genders need to take the responsibility for what happens. No relationship is all to one parties credit or blame, it’s a shared responsibility.

I ran across this on Wasted Days Wasted Nites and I think that it’s well worth repeating.  I think it points out that the ideals and freedoms held as such high standards and goals in the United States are not just for Americans…. they are there for everyone, everywhere.

Thank you for posting this JuneBugg

The following is an Austrailian Dentist’s response to a report that someone had posted a reward in a foreign newspaper for anyone who killed an American, any American.

An Australian dentist wrote the following to let everyone know what an American is… so they would know when they found one. (Good on ya,mate!!!!)

An American is English, or French, or Italian, Irish, German, Spanish,Polish, Russian or Greek.

An American may also be Canadian, Mexican, African, Indian, Chinese,Japanese, Korean, Australian, Iranian, Asian, or Arab, or Pakistani,or Afghan.

An American may also be a Cherokee, Osage, Blackfoot, Navaho, Apache,Seminole or one of the many other tribes known as native Americans (or native Hawai`ians DB).

An American is Christian, or he could be Jewish, or Buddhist, or Muslim. In fact, there are more Muslims in America than in Afghanistan. The
only difference is that in America they are free to worship as each of them chooses.

An American is also free to believe in no religion. For that he will answer only to God, not to the government, or to armed thugs claiming to speak for the government and for God.

An American lives in the most prosperous land in the history of the world. The root of that prosperity can be found in the Declaration of Independence, which recognizes the God given right of each person to the pursuit of happiness.

An American is generous. Americans have helped out just about every other nation in the world in their time of need. When the Soviet army over ran Afghanistan 20 years ago, Americans came with arms and supplies to enable the people to win back their country! As of the morning of September 11, Americans had given more than any other nation to the poor in Afghanistan.

Americans welcome the best, the best products, the best books, the best music, the best food, the best athletes. But they also welcome the least! The national symbol of America, The Statue of Liberty, welcomes your tired and your poor, the wretched refuse of your teeming shores, the homeless, tempest tossed. These in fact are the people who built America.

Some of them were working in the Twin Towers the morning of September 11, 2001, earning a better life for their families. I’ve been told that the World Trade Center victims were from at least 30 other countries, cultures, and first languages, including those that aided and abetted the terrorists.

So you can try to kill an American if you must.
Hitler did.
So did General Tojo, and Stalin, and Mao Tse-Tung, and every blood thirsty tyrant in the history of the world.

But, in doing so you would just be killing yourself. Because Americans are not a particular people from a particular place. They are the embodiment of the human spirit of freedom. Everyone who holds to that spirit, everywhere, is an American.

Author unknown-Pass this around the World

100 Things about B’Tude 

1. B’Tude hates assholes
2. I’m an asshole… well… sometimes she thinks so
3. B’Tude has two kids… both boys
4. Both of her kids also know I’m an asshole
5. She is a very talented photographer
6. She has also been paid for some of her photos
7. She doesn’t like SCI-FI much but will tolerate my watching it
8. B’Tude has no appreciations for the intricacies of SCI-FI
9. She often doesn’t understand the humor in horror movies
10. She makes me watch chick flicks but hates it when I laugh about them
11. She once owned a business where she made over $100k a year
12. She had to disolve her business because of a crook
13. B’Tude was born in Texas
14. She was born in Ranger, Tx.
15. She’s not a Ranger
16. She never really lived in Texas
17. She really did live in Calif… so she ain’t a real cowgirl
18. She doesn’t say "Dude" too often
19. One of her favorite movies is "Dude! Where’s My Car?"
20. She really did live in Wash. and Oregon, but she’s only partially affected.
21. On her worst day she is a better graphic designer than most people when they’re trying
22. After only a few bumps and bruises she got to be a pretty good Cold Fusion developer
23. My bruises healed pretty well, thank you
24. She can be a Bitch… but normally only when provoked
25. She doesn’t get provoked too much
26. She is an excellant writer and editor… after only a few bumps and bruises during the convincing part
27. Those bruises are healing nicely too, thank you very much
28. Together we helped put a crook in jail who ripped her off
29. She isn’t a good person to piss off
30. She is an excellant student at school
31. The teachers at school treat her like she’s a Princess
32. The teachers don’t have bruises
33. She loves the beach
34. She hates getting sand in her suit
35. She loves the ocean
36. Things that are in the ocean she’s not real fond of
37. B’Tude doesn’t eat seafood
38. She loves the sun
39. The sun loves her too… baked
40. She has a thing for Johnny Depp
41. I don’t look like Johnny Depp
42. She is a shoe horse
43. She once had at least a couple dozen pairs of shoes
44. She now has less than a dozen pairs of shoes
45. I keep her away from shoe stores
46. She hates math
47. She can’t add for shit in her head
48. B’Tude hates it when I’m right about anything
49. She will argue for hours to avoid admitting that I was right
50. (see #48)
51. B’Tude hates to shop… well… unless it’s shoes
52. B’Tude loves Pier One and will spend her paycheck there
53. We don’t visit Pier One
54. She is the world worst patient
55. She refuses to go to a Dr. when she’s sick
56. We don’t play Dr.
57. She swims like a fish
58. She used to be on a swim team
59. She is the oldest of four children, three girls and a boy
60. She loved to torment her siblings
61. She once threw a fork and pinned her sisters hand to a wall
62. See #29
63. Computers never work the way they’re supposed to
64. Her method of fixing computers that don’t work right is a good kick
65. She goes through a lot of computers
66. I don’t let her near my laptop
67. She’s the Editor of a college newspaper
68. (See #31)
69. She can talk like a Chicana, because of the Calif. thing
70. She’s still a SWBP… even if she can talk like a Chicana
71. She does a great pout when she isn’t getting her way
72. I let her have her way most of the time so I can accuse her of being Spoiled
73. She has absolutely no sense of time… “I just told you that five minutes ago”… Uh… sure babe… but that was yesterday
74. She doesn’t wear a watch most of the time… but owns a couple
75. I always have to add time to wherever we’re trying to get to because she always thinks it only takes fifteen minutes to get there… even if it’s on the other side of the island
76. She hates air conditioning
77. In Hawai`i it’s hot and humid
78. She insists on driving with the windows open and the air running full blast
79. I do most of the driving
80. She has no patience for stupid people
81. She has no patience for ignorant people
82. She has no patience for trashy people
83. She has no patience for manipulative people
84. She will go out of her way to help someone in need
85. She is terrible about taking a complement
86. She is very affectionate
87. Although she doesn’t think so, she is a good mom
88. She knows what she wants to be when she grows up
89. I’m not sure she should ever grow up
90. She’s studying to be a Forensic Psychologist
91. She hates cockroaches (go figure)
92. She hates spiders (duh)
93. There are cockroaches and spiders in Hawai`i
94. She loves flowers
95. She loves birds
96. She loves sunsets
97. There are birds, flowers, and sunsets in Hawai`
98. She loves me
99. She calls me her old bird
100. Go figure

P.S. B’Tude got the idea from me reading Chase’s Blog at My Father’s Son and twisted my arm.  Damn I hate these things Chase, you damned troublemaker, lol