You Know You’re White Trash When
In honor of White Trash Friday…
You know you’re white trash when…
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.
You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the table in front of her kids.
You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
Jack Daniel’s makes your list of "Most Admired People."
You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.
You wonder how gas stations keep their restrooms so clean.
Someone in your family died right after saying "Hey, y’all watch this!"
Your Junior/Senior prom had a daycare.
You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas it has in it.
Ya’ can’t git married to yer sweetheart ’cause there’s a dang law against it.
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
You still think toilet water comes from a toilet
You attend a family wedding to pick up dates
Your in-laws hold regular pissing contests off their third story balcony… and she wins
Your mailman complains about the toilet you converted to a mailbox, and your wife insisted on planting flowers in
Your wife has more tatoos on her butt than you do
Your neighbors complain about the dandelions in your yard because it increases the value of your property
You actually think those plastic Hawai`ian hula skirts grow wild in Hawai`i
You think the "Sound of Music" was the noise Uncle Jeb’s head made when Aunt Jethrine hit him with a fryin pan
You have more than three pink flamingoes in your front yard
You think Tiger Woods needs a new pair of shoes when you heard he had a "Hole in One"