Corporate Crap and Other Dubious Wisdom

No, but really!!  I thought I would never see the day.  I actually did see it for myself, and I have witnesses.  Unfortunately I have no pictures so I’ll probably have to get written affadavits.

B’Tude was actually speechless!!  In Speech class nonetheless!!  For several seconds during her informative speech her mind apparently went completely blank.  Nothing exited her mouth, her eyes glazed over, and she stood motionless in front of the class.  Usually I never get to see that glazed loook because it’s too dark and I don’t wear my contacts or glasses to bed.

I suspected maybe an out of body experience, however she informed me later that she had experienced a brain dump.  Too much homework and too little down time will do that too you.

Not to be totally outdone, my brain also did a dump.  For the life of me I couldn’t remember just who the hell an author was in my English Lit Midterm.  So I wrote some bullshit answer down in my essay, lol  Thankfully that part of the test was only worth a few points and the professor will probably give me a few points just for creativity   I think I need a drink.

I’ve now been informed by my History professor that I can’t write for shit.  Yeah, I know, the truth hurts.

I guess I’ll have to settle for just being a hack from now on.  Guess I’d better inform my Journalism professor that the position she recommended me for at the local newspaper will just have to go to a more qualified writer.  Hmmmm… and that short story they’re including in the book… guess I shouldn’t let them print it and embarass myself.  I’ll contact the online places I wrote for and let them know I appreciate their generosity, but really.  Oh, guess I should contact my English professor, my Economics, and Philosophy professors who kept copies of my papers for future examples and let them know they’ll have to trash them and wait until someone who can really write can give them good examples.

What the hell, I never wanted to be a writer anyhow.  I’m just a good ole boy who never quite grew up.  Gonna spend all my time on the beach diggin clams from now on.

Hi folks, my name is Doyle and I’m damned near 57 years old.  Not a big deal, but guess what?

I can still out drink, out think, out talk, out fuck, and out write a lot of guys half my age.

I’m also a Grandfather to the cutest little gal you’d ever wanna lay eyes on, maybe you’ve seen her picture once or twice.  Furthermore, I love to be called GrandPa because I earned the title.  Somehow I managed to raise a little girl until she could have a little girl of her own, and damned if I don’t love em both so much I wouldn’t care if everyone else called me old for ever.

Me old?  I guess maybe to some I am, but it really don’t matter much to me unless you count the few extra aches and pains it causes me once in a while.  Somewhere along the line I developed a responsible conscience, so I don’t go out drinkin much if I have to drive. (Now THAT one can bug me and cramp the hell out of bending my elbow!)

One of my heroes was still making movies before he died of cancer at 72, maybe you’ve heard of him—The Duke (that would be John Wayne to you youngsters), and I don’t think folks would have said he was "old".  Another favorite of mine was Old Blue Eyes, yep, that would be Frank Sinatra who died at 83—and still singing.  Everybody thought Frank was immortal to the end.

So ya’ll go ahead and poke fun at this ole grey hair if ya like, but just remember, I earned every danged one of them and wouldn’t have it any other way.

Since Hurricane Kim may be visiting the Kilauea volcano in the next day or two, I thought I’d post a picture (live from the volcano cam) for those of us who haven’t seen it in person yet   Ummmm… I wouldn’t recommend those cute little pink, rubber-soled tennis shoes Kim.

The Big Island just experienced a 4.6 earthquake… hmmmm… could that be the announcement of Jeff and Kim’s arrival?  I’m just sayin’…