Advice You Just Couldn’t Pay Enough For
Since I am once again priviledged to write an article for the newspaper this month, I thought I would give you all a preview. The subject this month for me is "Computer Safety and Security." Knowing my warped brain, these are a few of the things that will not make it to print:
- Your computer makes a really good food warmer
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The CDRom makes a great cup holder if you’re pressed for space on your desk
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To get some pretty colors around the edges of your monitor, put your speakers as close as possible to it
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So what if your computer says you have a virus, you’ve had your shots
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Besides, virus scanners are a pain in the ass. I keep mine turned off because I like all the rebooting and spam, and funny shit my computer does.
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Back-ups are for chumps and losers, it only took you a year to get everything just right. Who knows, now you’ve done it once you can probably cut 6 months offa that the next time.
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What do you mean you never open all them strange emails? Hell, I’ve already responded to at least half a dozen of them with my bank account information. In thirty days I’m gonna be a rich man from all them African, and Arabian guys who croaked off and their widows can’t get the money outta the country!
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Hell yes I keep my bank account and credit card numbers on my computer! You think I wanna try and remember all those damned numbers? Not like anybody else could see em.
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I can’t be bothered with tryin to keep track of everyone. Besides, people are basically honest. I leave my laptop in the library all the time when I go out for a smoke and nobody ever bothers it.
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(B’Tude’s all time favorite) Doesn’t that whining noise irritate you? One good kick in the CPU will stop that shit!